When it comes to accepting help for seniors there are many obstacles to overcome. These are not limited to which home care provider to select, what type of elderly care to look for or figuring out how to pay for all of this. The biggest challenge starts before all of this. To accept you need a little bit of help is the single most difficult step in the process of getting the help you need. Letting go of something you were in control of for most of your life, your independence, is tough.
“Letting go of something you were in control of most of your life is tough”
” …people will judge me as weak or incapable of living on my own.”
Recently I spoke with a client about this very subject. Mary (not her real name) explained that she realized she needed help for some time. She did not want to give in to accepting the fact that her age and mobility were limiting factors to herability to live a fulfilling life. Mary has been living on her own for most of her life. She explained that she’s always been very independent. Some recent health issues made it more difficult for her to keep up with the daily chores around the house.
Dishes started to pile up in the kitchen. Cleaning the bathroom was simply something she did not have the energy for. Changing bed linen and laundry seemed to be insurmountable tasks.
Yet reaching out to get a little bit of help was not something Mary was ready to accept. I asked Mary if she could elaborate on why she did not act sooner. Mary explained that by accepting help people will judge me as weak or incapable of living on my own. Her answer was surprising at first. Thinking this over driving back home I came to realization that Mary’s perspective is really no different than mine or most of the people I know. Our independence is valued; our independence is part of our identity in this world.
When people’s independence is in weakened, society may label them as weak, or needy people will do anything in their power to show (or act) like they’re in control. Even if this means people live an out of control life where things don’t add up anymore. More and more dishes in the kitchen sink only make the problem worse.
Though we cannot change Society, my hope is that whoever reads this article looks (or will look) at the issue from a different angle. The Elderly in our Society need and deserve respect. They paid the prize, they worked hard for the country we live in today. We should not look at our seniors as helpless needy and weak people. Instead we should look at them as wise, weathered by experience and knowledgeable people who deserve a little bit of help from time to time when they need it.
“you’re in control of your independence”
” …you need to live your life the way you know best even if it means with a little bit of help…”
For those of you contemplating the need for a ‘little bit of help’ know that we respect you for reaching out and receive some help now you need it. Don’t feel judged, instead the very act of reaching out for help shows you’re in control of your life, you’re in control of your independence. Accept the help you need to live your life the way you know best even if it means with a little bit of help, Why not?